


I Still Need You

by foreverdestielxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, SPN - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 17:05:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverdestielxx/pseuds/foreverdestielxx
Summary: “It’s okay Cas. I’m going to fix this… I’m going to save you.” Dean whispered gently to the angel who was now in his arms, after tenderly picking him up. “Don’t you worry.” Dean once more spoke in that gentle tone as he carried Cas back into the house, out of the cold morning dew. Tenderly, Dean laid the angel down on the bed. The house was just as quiet as outside was, once more Dean found it fitting. The earth was mourning the lose of the angel, but not for long.





	I Still Need You

**Author's Note:**

> This in fact NOT beta.... oops. I am still looking for one, so if anyone knows a good one - let me know pls? :)
> 
> Anyways, ENJOY! :)

“You bring him back right now.” Dean whispers the words into the quietness of the night, eyes trained on the sky above him. The soft sound of the water hitting some rocks echos back, not even the animals are making noise tonight. It’s fitting, Dean thinks. It’s as if the the earth itself is also taking a moment of silence for the fallen angel; he has truly fallen now. “You stupid son of a bitch…” Dean whispers now, his anger going from whispering at the heavens to whispering at Cas - at his now lifeless body. “You should’ve just stuck to the plan, man… you -.” Dean anger quickly fades from his voice, from his bones. He can feel the salty water filling up in his eyes, yet nothing seems to fall; enough has fallen tonight already. His voice breaks as he goes to whisper more, but nothing seems to come out.

 

Now what? How is he supposed to keep going when he can’t even find it in himself to breathe? The world keeps turning. The world still needs him to fight. Yet, he can’t find it in him to keep going. Hell, he can’t even find it in himself to move from the position he is in. Dean wasn’t even sure when he had moved from kneeling next to Cas, to simply setting down on the sound with Castiel laying lifeless in his lap. So many words come to mind, so many things he wanted to say, so many things he wanted to do. Dean supposes it is true what they say. That the word Maybe truly is the most painful word in the dictionary. Because all he can think about right now is all the maybes that won’t seem to come now.

 

“Cas…,” Dean whispers the name once more, into the still and quiet night. But nothing answers him back, not the water, the animals or the angel laying in his arms. The warmth of Castiel's body has long faded, turning cold. The chill quickly seeping into Dean, filling his bones and making it hard to move. There is just so much he wanted to tell him. So many words he never got to tell him, he had a plan. Some big cheeky romantic gesture that would’ve went over Cas head at first, before it clicked in place. The hunter took his hand that was holding on to Cas hand, and moved it up to hover next to the angels cheek. His fingers ghostly running over his cheek, mapping out all the areas he’s always wanted to touched  — dreamed of touching so many nights. His thumb slightly trembling as it gently ghosted over the angels bottom lip.

 

“Cas, buddy… I’ma need you to come back now…,” The words leave his lips still in a soft whisper. As if maybe gently whispering them to his angel, they would seep into his bones and bring him back. Maybe if Dean whispered, showing he wouldn’t be angry or wasn’t mad, that Cas would come back. “Please…” The word came out in a broken sob, the tears that went unshed now falling down his cheek and dropping onto the angel's face. 

 

“Dean-,” The sound of his brothers voice, soft and gentle broke the silence that echoed around them. Dean knew what he was going to say, that they needed to go but the hunter couldn’t bring himself to move. His bones were like stones, he couldn't move, he didn’t know how to move. So, the green eyed hunter simple just shook his head, his eyes never leaving Cas face. The weight of Sams hand coming to rest on Dean’s shoulder felt like the weight of the world, yet weightless at the same time. His bones were already tired and heavy, and the hand just felt like more weight. Sam must have sensed it because he gave a quick squeeze before removing his hand.

 

“We’ll stay as long as you need..,” Sam whispered gently, he was using a tone Dean had never really heard his brother use before. It was  _ that  _ tone that people use when speaking to someone who had just lost someone they deeply loved. It was  _ that  _ tone that was used when they tried to lessen the pain, as if they knew the pain the person was feeling. Dean wasn’t saying that Sam wasn’t hurting or affected, but they both knew it was nothing compared to what Dean felt. Which was broken, and Sam was doing his best to comfort his brother. So, Dean gave a soft nod before turning his attention back to the angel in his arms.

 

Sam had spoke something to Dean, but the hunter wasn’t exactly sure what his brother said. He just nodded and then Sam was gone. It was something about going into town to get some food and clothes for Jack ( lucifer kid, Dean assumed ). If that was even what Sam said, Dean wasn’t sure. Dean wasn’t sure how long he stayed there on the ground, Cas in his lap. Yet, it was long enough for the sun to slowly start to peak up, the sky moving from dark to a soft light color. Cas would’ve loved it. Was Dean’s first thought. 

 

“No.” It was the only word that Dean spoke, he wasn’t sure who he was speaking too. No one was around. But it came out stronger than anything he had spoken since  _ it _ happened. But he knew what it meant. He wasn’t going to just give up. They had been through way too much for it to end like this. Like hell he was going to let the devil take Castiel away from him. That son of a bitch and all of those evil sons a bitches had taken enough from him. Dean wasn’t about to let them take Cas from him as well. Dean was now standing, the heavy feeling in his bones now gone and replaced with a mission. He was going to get him back, no matter what it took. Even if it meant searching the whole damn earth to find Chuck. Or literally going to Hell and tearing it apart, He would do it.

 

“It’s okay Cas. I’m going to fix this… I’m going to save you.” Dean whispered gentle the angel who was now in his arms, after gently picking him up in his arms. “Don’t you worry.” Dean once more spoke in the gentle tone as he carried Cas back into the house, out of the cold morning dew. Tenderly, Dean laid the angel down on the bed. Dean wasn’t sure were Kelly was, Sam most of buried her at some point last night. The house was just as quiet as outside was, once more Dean found it fitting. The earth was mourning the lose of the angel, but not for long. 

 

“CHUCK! You get your ass down here right now.” Dean all but yelled into the blanket of quiet that surrounded him and the angel.  The hunter let his eyes look up at the ceiling, towards the sky. He knew that Chuck could hear him, he knew that the man was watching and Dean could feel the anger seep into his bones. “You better get your ass down here right now and bring him back! Or I promise you won’t like what happens next.” Dean wasn’t yelling now, no his voice was almost a scary calm. Something within it gave off more fear than the anger and yelling fed. 

 

“Dean.” The sound of his name being spoke caused the hunter to turn around to come face to face with the big guy upstairs. Dean could see the sorrow and guilt that lingered in Chucks eyes and his face.  The sight caused the hunter to ball his hands into fist, his jaw locking in place. His eyes lingered on Chuck, both simply looking at each other. Dean could almost feel an electrical charge within the air between them, as if a storm was brewing.

 

“Bring him back.” The words came out calm and collective, the complete opposite of what Dean was feeling inside. The calmness most of surprised Chuck, if by the look on his face was anything to go by. 

 

“Dean, I ca-” Chuck started, but Dean took a step forward into Chuck personal space; cutting God off himself. Dean could see the shorter man swallow slowly before looking up at Dean. He was sure Chuck could see the storm brewing behind his eyes. Hell, they could feel it in the air.

 

“So help me… if you say you can’t, I will personally kick your ass. I’m not asking Chuck.” Dean used that same calm and collective tone, with an underlying hint of something that would’ve placed a chill in Dean’s on bones. “Either you help me now… or I swear, you won’t like what I do. I will turn over every stone, I will crawl through the depths of hell myself. I will personally find away to heaven, to find him. I will kill every angel and every demon and every monster till I find him. Till I bring him back home.” Dean had taken a couple more steps towards Chuck as he spoke, causing the other man to take a few steps back — his back now against the wall. 

 

“I will burn it all to the ground, if I have too.” Dean finished up, his eyes trained on Chuck who simple took in a shaky breathe. Silence once more filling up the air between them, the air was charged with even more so now, as if a storm was about to break out. 

 

“And what if he doesn’t want to come back? What if he is already home?” Chuck finally spoke the words, breaking the silence that was in the air. Dean wasn’t exactly sure what God had expected by speaking the words, but the reaction he got — it definitely wasn’t it.

 

“Cas home was never Heaven. It was never with you or the other angels. His true home was always here… with Sam… with me, and we both know it.” Dean spoke the words through tight lips, his fist now holding a hand full of Chucks jacket as he slammed the older man against the wall.  “His home will always be here.”  _ With me _ . Dean doesn’t say it, but it’s implied and something about the way that it’s spoken seems to shift something with in Chuck. As if that was the answer he had been wanting to hear all along, he wanted a love confession and he got it. Maybe not those exact words, but some how Dean knew it was a enough for Chuck. 

 

“Just remember one thing Dean..,” Chuck spoke as he removed Dean’s hands from his jacket gentle, before moving around Dean and making his way to the bed. Dean quickly stepped in front of Chuck, stopping God himself in his tracks. Dean was guarded and didn’t fully trust the man before him, Chuck could sense it. The other man gave a raised eyebrow and held his hands up, as if to show he meant no harm ( at least no more than he already caused ). Dean felt his jaw click in place once more before he stepped a side to let him pass. Yet staying close just in case. “It’s a gift, you keep those…” Chuck whispered, his voice sounding almost like the wind as he disappeared out. 

 

The sound of a sharp intake of air echoed through the room, the quietness now being filled with breathing and gasping. The sound quickly caused the hunter to move towards the bed, holding his breathe. The hunter set down by the angels hip, placing one hand on the other side by his hip to hold him up. 

 

“Cas?” The word comes out broken and a barely there whisper, his other hand coming up to brush the hair out of his face. It’s not till bright blue eyes finally open, shining bright and full of life and looking at him does Dean fully believe it. 

 

“Dean.” Cas speaks one word, that’s all it takes for Dean to find a laugh ( more of a sob ) to escape from his lips. The hunter can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, and quickly spilling over. Finally, all if it hitting him. All the emotions flushing out the empty numbness that was once holding onto his heart. Dean buries his face into the crook of Cas neck, just letting it all come out. All the tears, the pain and joy that he’s back. All of it, no holding any of it back. The hunter moves his arms to quickly wrap around Cas, holding him tight and close. Any other time Dean might have been embarrassed, but right now? He didn’t give a damn and neither did Cas. Because the angel quickly wraps his arms around his hunter and holds him close, letting him let it all out.

 

Dean’s not sure how long they stay like that. With Cas holding Dean tightly, yet gently while Dean simple lets it all out. Everything he’s ever held back, all the feelings. At the same time Cas whispers to him ‘it’s okay’ and that ‘he’s okay’, placing soft kisses to the hunters for head and temple, rubbing his back gentle. And when Dean finally whispers ‘let’s okay home’ he can’t hold back the smile and the gentle kiss that comes as Cas tenderly whispers ‘I already am’. And when they finally make it back to the bunker, after letting Sam know they was heading home, they make love for the first time. It’s slow, sweet and gentle. As they whisper into each other all the things they held back for so long as they slowly take each other apart, just to come back together. Forever intertwined.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](http://angelwingsandwhiskey.tumblr.com/) is always open to prompts or if you wanna just talk. Find me there. :)
> 
> I'm hoping to start writing some more again. I may or may not have something in the works. So keep an eye out. xoxo


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